I heard the words today when I listened to the wind. The birds said "Thank you. We love the seed. It's over here!" Then I heard the trees rustle and say, "Hey how's it goin?" Don't you just love nature? I hear my own anxiety breathing and my sudden whimper -- autistic in the glaring morning -- not quite right. I'm obsessed today with the bubbly drink my mom disappeared. She calls it "obsession interruptus."
What I wanted to hear was not the Great Spirit turning my awareness awake with nature. What I wanted to hear was the sound of that bubbly can opening and the bubbles pouring into the glass. I would prefer to control my own behavior; however it might be unhealthy to drink five more of those and if I could, I would. It's a problem.
My parental units discovered the tactic of disruption of my OCD when I was little. One day they just put me in the car and drove 'til the sky smiled. We drive around a lot. It's a useful tactic, I guess. Sometimes it works when they hide the coffee pot or remove objects to try to refocus me.
I just ran off to the other room to think about this obsession interruptus and how it could improve as a tactic because while I was whining in the other room, my mom confessed that she hid that bubbly and why.
In my autistic mind the bubblies had mysteriously disappeared and I was freaked out that happened. I was convinced they would reappear, but once she explained I became confident again that I could stop with all this anxiety. I think I'll be fine now. I came back in here smiling ready to finish this blog.
I don't like being tricked. My mind tricks me enough. I take things very literally and if something disappears, it can reappear so I think I would change that OCD tactic to add more truthful forthcoming information, with all due respect to me.
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